How do I even begin to unpack this confession?

I’m a mum of two and it’s hard out here. I feel like I’m failing. At literally everything. Every aspect of motherhood. Every little mistake, every time I raise my voice, every unhealthy way I cope with stress… it feels horrible. Like I’m constantly falling short.

The mum guilt is intense. I don’t know how to regulate it and sometimes I think my kids can feel it too. One thing I do try to do well is apologise. After I’ve yelled and behaved in ways I’m not proud of, I always say sorry. But by then, I worry the damage has already been done. I lie awake wondering if one day they’ll need therapy because of me.

And then there’s everything else I’m not doing. I’m not saving enough for their future. I’m not teaching them all the things I think I should. I barely play with them. I don’t feel as naturally maternal as I did in those early newborn days. That fierce protective instinct everyone talks about feels like it’s slowly fading, and that scares me.

Some days I regret becoming a mum. Other days I look at my kids and they’re the sweetest, funniest little humans, and my heart could burst.

I really hope I’m not alone in feeling this way. Because some days, these thoughts are almost crippling.