Years of family favouritism has led me to do something to my sister, that I may never be able to undo.

To this day, she still doesn’t know it was me.

Some context first. My sister and I have always had a difficult relationship. She grew up being very close to my mum, while I often felt pushed to the side. The differences between us have always been obvious. My mum paid for my sister’s master’s degree tuition. She funded her entire wedding. She helped her with the deposit for her first car. And I’m almost certain that if my sister wanted to buy a house, my mum would help with that too.

What has my mum done for me? When I went back to full-time work after having my first child, she looked after my baby for a couple of years, free of charge. In her mind, that support is worth far more than everything she’s done for my sister.

My sister has always used her close relationship with my mum in a way that feels spiteful towards me. There are constant comparisons, criticisms, and accusations about things I’ve supposedly said or done against my mum, most of which are completely untrue. I’ll admit that I don’t always have the best attitude towards my mum. I could probably be kinder and more gentle. But if I’m honest, I think a lot of that comes from the resentment I carry about how little she has done for me compared to my sister.

Sibling rivalry between us has always been intense. We had a huge argument some time ago that fractured our relationship even further.

And recently, I did the unthinkable.

I stole something from her.

It was something very precious and sentimental. I have to redact some identifying details, so I can’t go into too much depth about exactly what it was or how it happened. But what I can say is that something deeply meaningful to her went missing from a specific place in her home. To this day, she has no idea that I was the one who took it.

Part of me does feel bad about what I did. At the same time, I can’t ignore the feeling that I’ve been financially disadvantaged in life compared to her. She hasn’t reported the theft, and from what I’ve heard, she has no intention of doing so. She doesn’t suspect me either. Because of the way everything happened, she believes I was abroad around the time the item went missing.

In my mind, this became my secret revenge for everything that’s happened between us over the years.

Maybe one day I will admit it to her. But right now, I’m not ready to face that conversation.

I know the real conversation I probably need to have is with my mum about the way she has treated my sister and me so differently. But that’s a story for another day. Perhaps one I’ll submit to Liven Elle when the time comes.